(Midlife Crisis by Faith No More from YouTube should be playing just below this text… maybe you should just click on the dang thing.)
I must accept the facts: I am going through a mid-life crisis.
Yes, I’m well aware that when we talk about a “mid-life crisis”, we picture a man who has dumped his wife for a younger model (usually not an actual “model” lol), and zips around the corners of Mullholland Drive in his new red sporty convertible (top down, of course).
Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve always understood males more than females.
Maybe it’s because I’m really a 13 year old boy in a female body. (I’m not comfortable referring to myself as a “woman”, but at 38, “girl” seems a bit weird.)
How do I know I’m having a mid-life crisis? When I was 19 years old, I worked as a body-piercer. I had a 12g (gauge) VCH (Vertical Clitoral Hood), 12g rings in my left and right outer labia, a 10g navel ring, 10g nipple piercings, 6 holes in my left ear, my left tragus, 4 holes in my right ear, the bottom hole stretched to almost half an inch, a nose piercing, and a 4g tongue piercing. At one point, I had the webbing between my thumb and index finger on the left hand pierced. (I did it myself, and it was always my favourite.)
After taking out the nose piercing 15 years ago, and the tongue piercing 10 years age, I just placed a 14g barbell in my original tongue piercing. (I had a second done in the front, but it was so badly placed, I had to remove it,) I used a 12g circular barbell (now called a “horseshoe”.) and a taper but it slid in with no more than a slight push from my upper teeth. (Leading me to wonder what food and other stuff might have worked its’ way into my tongue piercing as it shrunk from a 4g to a 14g. Yuck!)
I have also ordered kits from eBay so I can do vertical piercings on my nipples ( a cross on a Jew lol), and my hand piercing — on boyh sides this time. I will also add more cat paw print tattoos, and wear my hair in pigtails, and…
My hand holding the grape sugar candy…