Been Reading, Been Writing

Ok. I freely admit that I have avoided the various David Bowie tributes like the plague. How can they pay tribute to a man who, in my mind, is still alive? It’s offensive!

Then we have the Trump inauguration. Which means his run fir POTUS wasn’t some huge, unfunny joke.

And then my Nikita dies. The kitten that I got to keep me company when a cruel judge gave my son’s abisive dad 2 weeks in July and 2 weeks in August — which was used the first year to “fatten” our son up and given up the 2nd year. Either way, as I cried myself to sleep, worrying abput the various abuses my son’s sad and girlfriend at the time were doing, it was my autumn colored Nikita (Russian female of Nicholas, my son’s name) who dried my tears on her fur and lulled me to sleep with her purring.

Ema was there, too, my tuxedo girl, 2 years older but dyong of thyroid cancer 15 says after Nikita.

And that’s how I spent my first 2 months of the year: inauguration; crying and carrying my dead cat down tbe hallway to the trash conpactor because I had nowhere to bury her; and repeating the event 15 days later with Ema.

It’s not gotten any easier to write / type fast on a phone. And I’m trying to get out my autobiography: the drugs, the Pro Dom, the years I spent trying to get my dad to love me.

We had two cats die within sixteen days of one another. Nikita in January, Ema in February. 

Our therapist went on permanent maternity leave and suddenly the replacement therapist couldn’t fit us in her schedule. So why did she say that she could see us? I was going Thursday morning and my son Friday after school. First new therapist switched my son to Wednesday, his only early day off but with getting up at 6am, school, therapy, getting home at 7pm, homework just didn’t fit — which I’d said would happen. My Thursday mornings became Monday mornings, but Monday is just a bad day because I know that my weekends with my son are limited and a strong depression hits me Monday. Was that the last weekend before my son decides I’m not cool, or that his friends are cooler?

So we stopped going.

I’ve been reading books about drugs (“Fall to Pieces”, by Mary Forsberg Weiland; “Not Dead & Not for Sale”, by Scott Weiland) and the time that I was using and… I know that I would never use while my son is living at home; honestly, I probably never will have my goddess heroin in me again — but if I had to state that, it would be harder to shut that voice off. That, “Once is ok” voice. So I tell myself that I’ll be able to in a decade, in 8 years…

I’d love to find a visual artist who could help me with my tarot deck. I’m not sure why it’s so hard. Maybe because I can’t offer money?

Then there’s the story I thought my ex had completely deleted: I had floor plans; lists of characters including date of birth; date of death (& reason); relationship to other characters; etc. I had an outline, etc. Now I’ve got a few notes, but maybe it’ll be enough to write The Great American Novel my dad always referred to (still trying to please my dad. Pathetic.).

Yesterday, Monday, 27 March, as my birthday. My grandma guilt tripped me so I guilt tripped​ my son into seeing my dad. (Christianity anditta Catholicism come from Judaism, so we have been using guilt thousands of years before the Catholics.). Unfortunately​, I had a cold and missed the Birthday celebration which went on without me. Odd.

Maybe next year I’ll be included in my birthday celebration 

Posted in Knowledge, Life, reading, tarot, writing

Saturday Blog: I’m reading. So Should You.

It’s been two weeks of Monday, Wednesday, Saturday blog publishing (if they haven’t all been here, I have another blog at which was originally intended as a writer’s group for those of us who can’t find time in “real life” for a regular meeting. It is also a good way for others to promote their blogs / sites. *hint, hint*).

Tonight? Well, tonight I’m reading. And you should be too.
Some suggestions:

* Anything and everything by Neil Gaiman. You can start with Sandman Seasons of Mist (graphic novel). Never where and Good Omens (with Terry Pratchett) are also good starting places.

* Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky (Penguin edition, translated by David Margashak) and Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy are good Russian novels.

* If you like Spanish, Like Water For Chocolate is similar enough to the movie that after watching the movie numerous times, I was able to read it in Spanish! And, of course, there’s One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

* You can always reread books you loved growing up. I used to read Margaret Mitchell’s Gone With the Wind (all 1034 pages) yearly. I just reread Stranger in a Strange Land  (“grok” is even in! Tho I guess you have to have read the book to grok the significance of that!)  and Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

I’m going back to my book. It’s about the Tarot, as I have a deck I’ve created, although the work is on and off (more off than on, but I just found my notes. Now I need an artist to draw the cards from some basic visual images and descriptions I’ve come up with!).
Good night.
Blessed Be.
Enjoy your book.

Posted in Life, tarot, writing

A Laptop… Finally

My son received a laptop (with internet) from my dad and grandma for his birthday this past saturday, 9 november.

he is to share it with me.

i plan to use the laptop for WRITING!!!

i will blog more often, begin working on The Great American Novel (which focuses on a South American family who emigrate to the lower east side – LES – of NY aka NYC aka Manhattan). considering that statistics estimate by 2025 more people in America will be speaking Spanish as a first language, this probably will be the Great American Novel – Moderna.

be prepared for upcoming posts and blogs. pass them on. thank you ❤