Uphill Both Ways: Journal Thurs/Fri 11/12 Feb 2016



Leaving my pain dr and wondering why it is literally uphill both ways. Ok, there are some minor downhill moments, but it’s mostly uphill! I am not exaggerating.

I would like to compliment them on their bathrooms.
Both of my son’s parents have, well, I’d say drug “histories”, but as of a couple of years ago, one parent was using something that helped him lose 100 lbs in a month. (And it wasn’t me. Did the pronoun give it away?)
Anyway, since one of us is honest about their “history”, in a misguided effort to prove I was no longer using, I volunteered for a multitude of random, supervised drug testing.
What I did not realize was how disgusting the majority of public bathrooms are.
Being a female, I have to not only manage the squat and hover over the seat, but aim into a cup that was not made for girls with piercings. (Oh. And I learned at 30, after having said piercings for over a decade, that I do not have one, neat stream. I knew males with a P.A. — Prince Albert, going through the urethra, aka “pee hole”, and coming out the underside / glans– resulted in multiple streams. But I’ve got a hood & two outer labia piercings — and the pee hits the jewelry and misses the cup but hits my hand. Gross!
Sorry if this is too graphic, but…)
I’m also “pee shy” and tend to talk a lot when I’m nervous. So the supervisor gets to have my nervous babble and running water haha.
Anyway, I start by taking thick paper towels and wiping the seat, the back of the lid (if there is one), etc. Then I cover the seat with four double layers of toilet paper — one across the left, the right, the front, and the back of the seat. I unscrew the cup, pull down my pants squat, and hope I don’t fall back or wind up with a hand covered in pee. Or, worse, an empty cup.
More than once, when I’m not being supervised, I have simply peed and then seen the empty cup. This means waiting until I can pee “enough” and drinking so much water I feel as tho I will puke (too bad that can’t be drug tested!). Once, I was in tears because my pain Dr’s were closing and I had forgotten to pee in the cup and was almost out of meds.
(In case you are wondering, the other parent says he keeps a supply of that body wash & internal cleansing stuff. When we were in court, he’d start the day before. We’d be given 24 hours. I would walk the two blocks and get it over with. He would go home for a final “cleansing”. The stuff works.)
Anyway, back to the bathroom problem. Do you pee on the seat at home? No, and if you do you wipe it off. So who is it out there who feels that it is OK to make others wipe their pee off a public toilet seat? A Twitter Angel had this to say in her awesomely funny blog: Friends.. let’s talk about… | ofrobotsandduckies
check it out. Please.

Things To Do Over My Son’s Vacation Other Than YouTube/ Netflix / Hulu:

* clean!

* finish our wands — his first

(I found this in a Google Search. It is from deviantart so if you know who created it I would love to give them credit.
Also, I am aware this was for Alan Rickman’s death, but it’s beautiful and I am not home to get a picture of my wand. Besides, Alan Rickman was a wonderful actor so I don’t see a problem with Raising My Wand in memory of him.)

* make dreamcatchers (and finish the How To Make Dreamcatchers blog)

* American Museum of Natural History

* some blog ideas:
** The 45 Best Things To Do with Kids in New York – The 2016 Guide
** The best things to do in NYC with kids this week

* visit my grandmother!!!!! ❤❤❤

Apparently people I know are reading this, which makes it a bit uncomfortable. I am known as the Queen of TMI, but when I included a line about an “online friend” who shares my “foot fetish”, I was unprepared for the five responses I received. Four thought I was referring to them and thanked me for including them. I was looking at my To Do list at the time, and the thought was literally off the top of my head, but the fifth, aka the one I was actually thinking of (we’ve had fun online talks about the subject and I’d been hoping to fit one in before my son’s vacation), only mentioned he had read my journals — nothing about the possible reference!
While I consider myself lucky to have multiple people to discuss feet, shoes, tickling, etc, with, here’s a little tongue in cheek song for the few who thought I was referring to them 🙂
P.S. my son goes back a week from Monday. The 22nd, I believe.

Carly Simon – You’re So Vain

You, along with the millions online, help me realize that we are a very large group. Heck, Quentin Tarrantino is a proud member of the Foot Fetish Group! there’s even a mention in Cosmopolitan *vomit*:
Foot Fetishes and Foot Jobs – What It’s Like to Have a Foot Fetish

Question: why does the ampersand, aka “&”, sometimes come out as, “&amp” with one of these “;” in there? (Sorry, fibro fog. Can’t remember where they went.

Since my signature has disappeared, and I’ve yet to find it:

Blessed Be,
D. K. Stevens

Oh, and, BTW, for those who saw my What Is The Point of Scheduling a Blog:




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