Posted in Baby Daddy, Drugs, fibromyalgia, girls, Knowledge, Life, My Son, parenting

Open Letter of WHY To My Ex-Beloved

I remember when I came up with that nickname, “Beloved”. It was from a book by Robin Hobb. The Fool, who had been in many of her books, sometimes as a male, sometimes female, had been captured and was being slowly tortured in a frozen wasteland. He had no hope if being saved. As his skin was being slowly stripped away from his back, he was delerious with pain, and he began mumbling, “Beloved, My Beloved, ” or something like that. And even tho we’d just found each other after a decade, I knew that if I was in the same situation, I’d be calling out your name. Beloved. My Beloved. Because it has always been you.
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Posted in Re-Post, review, writing

Blurb Reveal For RAELIA

Some of you might remember my review of the first book in this series, Akarnae (https://dkstevens327.wordpress.com/2015/07/18/akarnae-by-lynette-noni-a-review/#more-991). Here is the Blurb Reveal for Lynette Noni’s Raelia. I cannot wait for this book to be published. Although Akarnae is excellent as a stand-alone book, I want more of Alex and Medora. (I’d also love a review copy, but I suppose I’ll have to petition the publisher for that!)

Lynette Noni

I’m delighted to be able to share with you the official blurb for the second book in The Medoran Chronicles: RAELIA.

RAELIA COVER (JPEG)

“Life is full of crossroads, Alex. Full of choices.”

Returning for a second year at Akarnae Academy with her gifted friends, Alexandra Jennings steps back through a doorway into Medora, the fantasy world that is full of impossibilities. 

Despite the magical wonder of Medora, Alex’s life remains threatened by Aven Dalmarta, the banished prince from the Lost City of Meya who is out for her blood. 

To protect the Medorans from Aven’s quest to reclaim his birthright, Alex and her friends seek out the Meyarin city and what remains of its ancient race.

Not sure who—or perhaps what—she is anymore, all Alex knows is that if she fails to keep Aven from reaching Meya, the lives of countless Medorans will be in danger. Can she protect them, or will all…

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Posted in Uncategorized

The Diary of Lotus Girl

I came across the blog, The Diary of Lotus Girl, and wanted to comment but there was nowhere for me to do so.

I wanted to reach out to her, to talk to her, but there is no way to contact her.

I am hoping she will see this and reach out to me.

Here is the link for a recent blog of hers: https://thediaryoflotusgirl.wordpress.com/2015/11/17/early-tuesday-morning-2/

Lotus girl, if you see this, please, we have a lot in common. I love your openness and honesty.

Blessed Be,

Dee

Posted in Life, writing

How Humans See Us

It always amazes me how easily we are able to make our way thru a large group of humans. It is like they do not see us, but at the last second, they step out of the way. It is usually the more sensitive of the humans and I’ve often wondered if they are able to sense ghosts and other undead creatures as well.
We are perfectly able to go about in daylight, but there are some who will notice and stare, and darkness makes it easier. Some will whisper to their companions, urging them out of our way. This is only if they are standing, of course. On the subways and buses, when there are no available seats, the ones who notice us usually pretend that they have not: they look away as if meeting our eyes would cause a compulsion to stand; others pretend to sleep, or read. Those that do offer us a seat make a big deal of it. I’ve had arms sweep over the seat needing only a bow to complete the picture. They like to act as if they have done an act of bravery, “Look! I have acknowledged One and am giving up this seat of my own free will!” Still others will give up their seat and then proceed to whisper to me how someone they love, someone close to them, is like us and how it happened. Some will even ask for my story. But even these humans do not meet my eyes.
Who are we? Well, most of us started just like you. A lot of us grew up, fell in love, had children. We did not choose our way of life, our way of being. I think it is safe to say almost all of us would give anything to go back to the way we were. Before. I am one of those. My son will be eleven on Monday and the time has passed so quickly, yet I regret how much I am unable to do for him since my… Change. Mine was caused by my son’s dad. Others the result of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Others simply have crappy genes.
While a lot of us have changed our diet to help adjust to our new form, some still eat as they did. We have learned that it makes others uncomfortable to see us so we are not so much hiding as trying to ease the discomfort of those around us.
As there are things we can no longer do for ourselves, we often need a human to do these things for us. But only if it is of that humans own free will. We do not force others to take care of us. For a lot of us, admitting that we need to rely on someone else, a human, is too much to bear, and we simply do without.
I mentioned my son. He says I am, “the best parent in this world and every other” and I wonder about those “other” worlds. Is there a world in which we are the majority and not the minority? If so, how do we eat, who makes our clothes? And while my son may overlook my many faults, I am all too aware of them. We live in the United States, yet my disabilities are what make me stand alone, and apart. We, those of us with physical disabilities and those with mental disabilities (I’m sure having physical disabilities is enough to bring on mental ones), are like vampires. Pariahs. Lepers in a modern day world that has not seen a leper in an age. People see us walking, limping, relying on a cane, walker, or in a wheelchair, and they act as if it is something one can catch. No, my silly human, I do not bring my son’s dad around so he can pull you into a chokehold and slam your spine on his knee. Others have not brought their genetics, their accidents, their immune systems to make you like us. We are an impotent group and we mean you no harm. If anything, most of us wish for you to never know our pain, our loneliness, our loss.
But we wouldn’t mind your seat.