How Amanda Palmer Won Me Over. Sort of.

Amanda Palmer is easy to hate. She’s loud. She’s demanding — and her rise to increased public visibility has come largely care of her willingness to treat the world as part piggy bank, part personal assistant. She stonewalls in the face of criticism. She’s got a large, vocal, and aggressively evangelistic fanbase; she’s one of those polarizing public figures it’s hard to casually enjoy or dislike.

[From: The Art of Asking Why We Hate Amanda Palmer | WIRED]

I have been working on this piece for (literally) months.
It is not easy finding positive quotes about Amanda Palmer.
I even reached out to her fans on Instagram. Only one replied: he told me to read her book, The Art of Asking.
For someone who brags about giving all of her “stuff” away for free, I have not been able to get my hands on a copy of her book…

7 Times Amanda Palmer Pissed People Off

I should probably start by stating that I am a Neil Gaiman fan. I have been since 1992 when a Sandman poster led me to the graphic novel Season of Mists.
I should also state that I do not now, nor have I ever had a “crush” on Mr. Gaiman; I do not get involved with famous people, so this is not a “jealousy”- type of response.

When I first found out about Amanda Palmer and Neil Gaiman, I was not happy. I had never heard of her, and now here she was acting as if she’d gotten famous all on her own and not because she was “having lots of sex with Neil Gaiman.”
So, no, I didn’t have a crush on him (or her, tho I’m fascinated by her eyebrows). He is my favorite writer and I want him to be happy but after seeing this picture:


I thought, “he’s infatuated with her, and she could care less.”

Amanda, on how they fell in love:

He fell in love with me first, and then he planted himself firmly in a chair, firmly in my periphery, telling me that he was perfectly happy to wait years and years and years to date me.

My favorite writer following after someone for an open marriage?

Then it hit me: I was confusing my feelings about my father and his wife (not quite 3 years older than me), as well as all of my father’s previous girlfriends since The Divorce from my (ex-) stepmother in high school. I’d even written a poem in 12th grade questioning whether my father knew the difference between love and infatuation.
Seeing this photo, this split second in time, where Gaiman is gazing adoringly at Ms. Palmer had triggered a reaction that had nothing to do with either of them — but which had me commenting, “She’s going to break his heart.”

I think the most important thing about falling in love with him or being able to fall in love with him is that I wasn’t even remotely a Neil Gaiman fan, and I didn’t have any preconceived, worshipful notion of what he was like. I hadn’t been following his career. I didn’t know anything about Sandman. I didn’t know anything. I didn’t know that he was king of a certain world, so that held no attraction.

This sounds like Yoko Ono claiming she’d never heard of the Beatles or John Lennon. Seriously? Neil Hainan has award winning books in every genre!

And then she got pregnant.

I keep looking at neil with this dumb look on my face, saying “neil….we’re going to have a BABY. a BABY. a REAL BABY.” and he looks at me and blinks and sometimes he’s very calm and sometimes i freak him right the fuck out, and i can tell from the look in his face that he has no idea what’s about to happen, either.

Neil Gaiman was married to Mary McGrath and had three children with her: Holly, Maddy, and Michael.
I’m pretty sure Neil knows what’s going on.

Well, I tried to get positive quotes about Amanda Palmer and did not succeed.
As I said, I even tagged some of her Instagram following and the one who responded sent me to… her book.
That damn, elusive book. “The Art Of Asking”.
Well, guess what?
I asked.
I tweeted that if anyone would send me her book, I’d pass it forward. And I meant it. And guess what her response was?


Within FIVE minutes of posting on Twitter, Amanda Fucking Palmer reposted to her fans. I haven’t received the book yet, but I’ve got three promising leads.
Wish me luck.
P.S. I think I’m “won over”.


congratulations, Neil Gaiman, you’ve met your troublesome match, and i’m so glad i married your ass.

you continue to change me every day and i love you more with every passing tick of the long now.

happy anniversary, my love.

Blessed Be.


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