(This is from 3 June, 2011)
It took BD (Bad Dad, my son N’s biological father) putting me in a choke hold and slamming me to the ground but my son is finally included in the total stay-away restraining order.
BD is spending the weekend in jail. He claims I’m “lucky [he’s] so nice” or I’d be arrested, too.
Yes, he’s so nice he’s been abusing my son and me for years. He’s broken every promise he’s ever made. Every time he’s offered to help us he has screwed us at the worst possible moment.
As for being in a relationship, every time he asks me to be in a “real, serious” relationship, he cheats on me soon after.
Well, now I won’t have to deal with that. The most pathetic part? I didn’t know he had a temper for the two years we were friends, and for almost a year after we started dating / living together.
And that’s the BD I like to remember. The one who likes the same reading material I do; who enjoys much of the same tv shows & movies. The BD with the same stupid sense of humour.
And then I think of his temper.
And the fact that I can’t swallow without it hurting, and I want to cry. Because BD will not do anything about his temper. Like most schizos, he thinks it’s everyone else, not him.
I really hope that 5 weeks without his dad will do my son good. I truly believe it will. And with all of the therapists, social workers, etc, who will be seeing him between now and our next court date, hopefully this judge will not be bringing his personal grudges into the courtroom.