Cheating?

(written July 3012)

We’ve all got Facebook and twitter crushes.
My fb male crush, I’m pretty sure, is gay. (Which only makes me like him more!)
My female Twitter crush is, I’m pretty sure, straight. (And I wouldn’t want to change that!)

Another male fb crush (straight) turns out to have something in common with me. Something that I’m keeping a secret. Something that I loved but can’t find someone in “real life” who enjoys it as much as I do.
So we’ve begun sending private emails. And some photos which are G-rated. (Get your mind out of the gutter!)

My “bf” is my “best friend” plus excellent benefits, tho he wants to be more. (He’s called me his “wife” lol)
Let’s call him “Anomaly” since that’s what he is.
He’s also away for as much as six months, helping family, tho he’s driving up some weekends…
I love my Anomaly. He loves me.
But my email crush has awoken feelings of fun, teasing, etc, that my Anomaly isn’t into.
Is this cheating?
Email crush and I have no plans to get together. We’re just enjoying a mutual fantasy. But I wouldn’t want Anomaly doing what I am…
Still, since Email Crush and I are just indulging in fantasy …

I know. I know I’m justifying. I’m feeling the most useless emotion: guilt.
To what ends?

Now I’ve got a new “problem” as in a boy I’ve kissed is around & able to tattoo me.
If Anomaly were here it’d be a different story.
But he’s not.
Do I see tattoo boy? Do I continue the fantasy with Email?
Someone tweeted that if I cheat I’ve no right to condemn those who do.
But where is that line?
Anomaly first said he didn’t expect nor want me to wait. But then he says how much he loves / misses / needs me to be here for him…

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