I didn’t mention 2M or M2(squared) aka “Bf” was in a halfway house. Not a homeless shelter. In Oct 2010he was married to his long time fiancée & had a toddler. Well, she went to sleep and didn’t wake up. He was 30; she was 33&dead.
Yes, drugs were involved. But bf was in a place where he was clean&now they’re sending bf elsewhere. To a place where it’ll be two weeks minimum before I see him.
Typical. Bf’s clean. Bf hasn’t broken any fucking rules yet he’s being punished. And by proxy me, his mom, his son, my son…
So I’m heartbroken over this. That’s what happens when you’re infatuated, right? I called my ex.
Left a message. He, Bad Dad tho he is, lives from infatuation to infatuation. (Of course he convinces the girl it’s, “Love, True Love” a la Princess Bride.). But his latest gf (&I do mean GIRLfriend as she just turned 21&refuses to believe her sister&best friend when they confessed to having sex with BD *rolls eyes*) doesn’t go to work for a few hours…
Then, as I was going to get my son the elevator got stuck. I don’t know why they didn’t pull us up to the fourth floor but they made us jump down to the third.
A mom with her baby in a stroller refused (as I would’ve) but I had to get my son so I jumped, bruising my upper right thigh& left leg (no, not enough for a lawsuit Lilmor Mgmt, despite your charging $25/ room for the new “elevator”& NOT installing a NEW motor.)
Now my son’s Therapist is here for a home visit. I’m trying not to listen but it’s hard… my son is so melodramatic, like me, that he can be a bit loud lol
So. Ideally my son& I would see my grandmother tomorrow. Then Sunday would be spent relaxing or cleaning.
My Mom keeps asking for a visit but the last time we went out there she had my son order some gifts&now he can’t get them unless he goes out again.
Well, he calls this “keeping [his] gifts hostage”& he won’t see her until he gets them.
I’ve tried explaining her side to him.
I’ve tried explaining his side to her.
She’s an adult.
He’s a child.
He won’t give.
Honestly? I agree with my son. My mom could’ve mailed them. But she’s probably thinking she’ll get a visit for them, tho I’ve told her how many toys he has. Eventually he’ll just not want him & getting him to see her will be harder.
I guess it could be my fault: I’ve told him how she beat me & locked me in closets (with the cats) as a child& how I was emancipated at 13. But I’ve also explained how I’m trying to work on a relationship with her…
According to her, she’s had stage IV breast cancer for close to four years. This beats any known record of stage 4 cancer. Not to mention that in the first year I had cervical cancer, I dropped 30lbs& lost the ability to walk. But everyone is different. Still, I think I’ll nominate her for the Guiness Book of World records for being the most functional stage 4 cancer patient whose maintained all of her hair and is able to do things actively that I can’t even do now. Go mom! Lol
So its been almost a month. I honestly can’t remember the last time I clicked so well with someone. Unfortunately, I’m still having some issues with him being not just a guy but, well, a man. There really is nothing feminine or effeminate about him. Being that I prefer females, and the guys I do like tend to be mistaken for females, it’s a bit unsettling for me.
Then, of course, we both come with a ton of baggage. I knew my son’s dad for two years before I found out he had a temper. So there’s a part of me that is sure I’m misreading all the signs and this great situation will just blow up in my face.
He actually told me he loves me the other day. I walked home with a big stupid grin on my face. I’d been wanting to say it to him but he keeps talking about us moving too fast and controlling our feelings and I kept convincing myself that it was just infatuation …
In other news, my fibromyalgia has been really bad. But between my two boys (my son&boyfriend), it’s not too bad. But now I’ve got cramps and I’m nauseous from my period.
I’ve got my son this weekend but won’t see the bf til Tuesday. (The sex really helps the fibro but having my bf hold me makes me feel spoon good. *sigh*)
I know this has been rather disjointed but I’m in a fibro / infatuation fog.
Oh. Even better. I’ve introduced bf to my son. And they get along so well. See, not getting on with my son is a deal breaker. And bf passed with flying colours. (Not to mention bf is still around after some intense pms lol)
So. In. Lust.
Its been almost a month since I met 2M. (Yes, I know, not a good code name. Feel free to suggest one.)
We met at the doctor’s office, in the waiting area. There’s usually a long wait but I was prepared with a book plus paper & a pen for writing.
My first impression was that he was cute, but seemed to have this huge weight pressing him down. As in, this boy has baggage. Plus, I noticed his eyes: blue (tho he claims hazel depending on what he’s wearing), and sad. Like he’d been thru stuff that might perhaps have crushed the usual effiminate males I pick. And, oh yes, he did not fall into the category of “boy”.
That was Tuesday 3 January.
The next day, Wednesday, after I saw my Therapist I decided to walk down Fulton Street. A cute guy said hi to me but as he was all bundled up, I didn’t recognize him at first.
He was heading in the opposite direction & as I debated turning & going after him, he was suddenly in front of me.
We talked a bit and got on well but something about him made me want to kiss him. I hadn’t felt that way in a while so when he asked for my # I gave it.
I think we’d talked about meeting Fri but he called Wed night & I was hooked. His voice on the phone was such a turn on… I cancelled my Thursday booty call to hang out with this new guy.
Friday I had an appt with a new Dr& he offered to come. We would up talking by the river, sitting on a bench. I remember trying to get as close to him as physically possible.
Finally, I had to kiss him.